Hyper-focus will end me
As many of us neurodivergent bitches know, sometimes the hyper-focus hits like a Mack truck and a week later you're getting scraped off its grill with no memory of how you got there.
At least I hope many of us know this. Surely it can't be just me. There are no unique experiences in this world, so I have to hope.
Over the past month I've entered The Drift with two games, three books, and now my personal websites. It's fun, it's fresh, it's flirty, and it's unsustainable.
So last night I made myself sit in the discomfort of not staying up past 1am to keep scratching any of these various itches. I knew I had to break this or I'd end up burnt to a crisp. And you know what? I did it. I was uncomfortable and craving dopamine and tossing around in bed, but I at least took the first step. Now for the next one. Then the one after that.
Ugh... it's so much more fun to eat straight dopamine while I trick myself into thinking I'm doing something productive. Why must a healthy balance be so much more fulfilling in the long-term? My brain doesn't care about grocery shopping, it cares about how fast I can read this book or play this game!! Stomach aches from not eating all day then not having anything in the house is a future-Awdrey problem!
Unfortunately, I am future-Awdrey, so... fuck. I'm really hungry.